The parents of Golden State Warrior point guard Stephen Curry recently made headlines after announcing they were ending their 33-year marriage. The East Bay Times addressed the issue in an article attempting to explain why older couples divorce after so many years together.
The Curry’s are part of a growing trend of ‘gray divorce’ – defined as divorce that occurs in couples who are part of the 50+ demographic. According to data cited by the Times, gray divorce is on the rise in America.
This post will not rehash all of the information in the East Bay Times piece. But it will look at five reasons the Times cited as possible explanations of why older couples end their marriages. As you read, bear in mind a bit of wisdom from the Chicago divorce attorneys at ABM Family Law: divorce is not easy at any age.
1. Acceptance of Divorce
Data suggests that those in the 50+ demographic, particularly baby boomers, more easily accept divorce as a viable option than previous generations. That assumption is backed up by data showing that when these same baby boomers were young people back in the 80s and 90s, they were already experiencing record divorce rates.
If this particular generation were more readily accepting of divorce 40 years ago, it stands to reason they would carry that acceptance through into their 50s, 60s, and beyond.
2. Remarriages Are Less Stable
Hand-in-hand with the previous point is the reality that some gray divorcees are on their second and third marriages when they decide to split. They were already divorced once or twice in their younger years, making their remarriages less stable. The Times cites data that shows as much.
3. Marriage Expectations
Next, Americans generally look at marriage as a way to achieve some level of fulfillment. That is a mistake. But such expectations notwithstanding, it is easy to dismiss a lack of fulfillment when you’re raising kids and trying to build a retirement nest egg. Once that season of life ends though, a lack of fulfillment becomes readily apparent.
Couples work so hard to keep things together during their 30s and 40s that they have little time to reflect on fulfillment. But becoming empty nesters with money in the bank affords more free time. And with free time comes the ability to question whether or not life is fulfilling. If it is not, couples tend to blame their marriages.
4. Couples Grow Apart
The fourth reason cited by the Times is that couples grow apart. This was explained in a number of ways, the first being that couples may not recognize one another when they finally become empty nesters. They feel like the person they married is no longer there; that their spouses changed too much over the years.
It was also explained that older people who suddenly find themselves empty nesters realize they don’t really like their spouses. They cannot imagine spending another decade or two living with someone they don’t like.
5. The Midlife Crisis
Last but not least is the midlife crisis. Yes, it is real. Just about everyone comes to the realization that youth is gone. In an attempt to recapture it, some go off and begin acting like they did in their 20s and 30s. This can drive a wedge between spouses already strained by a lack of fulfillment.
ABM Family Law reminds couples that divorce is a legal proceeding. As such, it is not necessarily easier because a couple is over age 50. The court still works the same way. The same types of issues still have to be settled.
