Divorce is a challenging time of life for both men and women. While research has shown that most women cope with divorce better than men, men who try to move through the divorce process by themselves find the experience to be much harder to deal with. Like every difficult situation, divorce gets a bit easier with a support system and advice from those who have been there.
Often, divorces for men become high-conflict and while women usually mitigate their emotions with help from their friends, men often bottle up emotions and keep things to themselves. Life can look very different after a divorce, but there are specific steps men can take to minimize the damage a divorce can have over their wellness, their finances, and their future.
- Take care of your overall well-being – There are things you can control and things you can’t when you go through a divorce. Your health and well-being are two things completely in your control. When facing the challenges of a divorce, instead of using alcohol, parties, or spending money to make yourself feel better, take this opportunity to reassess your choices. Focus on improving your health and wellness. Try joining a gym, engaging in a team sport, or enroll yourself in a meditation class. Remember that even amidst these hard times, focusing on what you can control will help make the process easier.
- Control emotional outbursts – The hardships that come with divorce can often make you edgy. But, the last thing you want to do is lash out with your negative emotions in front of your ex-spouse or children. Instead, try to be compassionate towards your situation, your spouse, your children, and yourself. What you focus on, grows. Bring your attention back to calm. Find a healthy outlet for your emotions – whether that’s talking to a therapist or friend, taking some deep breaths, or being physically active.
- Show respect to your spouse – Children usually consider both parents to be important to their support system and have the right to be close with both parents. If you don’tact respectfully to their mother, the children may drift away from you on account of such behavior. It is advisable for you to maintain discipline and treat your ex with respect. Important divorce outcomes, such as custody and parenting time, depend on your actions during the divorce process. To maintain a healthy bond with your children, respect their feelings for their other parent, too.
- Never leverage your children – It is very convenient to use your children to hurt your spouse. But, it hurts your children too, and they can sense when you are trying to be mean to their mother. You need to be the father your children can look up to. That is the image you want your children to have of you. Refrain from using your children to hurt your spouse, as their parents separating is a hard-enough situation for them to move on from.
- Keep finances transparent – Divorces are expensive. Even when the process is over, a family living in two separate houses always costs more. Discuss finances with your spouse and learn what they are expecting as an outcome of the divorce. The best thing would be if you can arrive at a decision amicably that is financially secure for your entire family.
- Choose the right lawyer – It is unreasonable for you to expect yourself to handle divorce alone. Everyone needs a support system that they can rely on. Divorce lawyers who work specifically with men can prove to be an advantage for you. Choose the right divorce lawyer who can handle divorce from a man’s perspective and understand your concerns. Proactivity, experience, expertise, and knowledge are what you can look for in your family law lawyer.
These tips will help you stay on top of the tension and hardships that divorces bring. With a plan and strategy, you will be able to get your life back on track and prepare to live your future worry-free.
If you are looking for an experienced divorce attorney for men, Brad M. Micklin at The Micklin Law Group, LLC can give you the guidance you are seeking. Brad Micklin is experienced in handling complex high-conflict divorces and strives to bring fair outcomes for all his clients.
Contact The Micklin Law Group, LLC at 973-562-0100 to schedule a consultation.